10 Steps to a Successful Marriage or Relationship

Probably right now is not the best time for weddings, as the season turns, Halloween thundered by, apple picking gets more news, the weather is still considering just how severe the coming winter ought to be, other distractions crowding. And yet there are certainly devoted people who don’t mind whether the season is conducive or not, they take the leap, fall in love and head straight for a wedding! Are they impatient to be happy or do they mean to keep each other warm in the cold months – and forever? Anyway, there is no wrong season to remind oneself of the ways to keep things romantic, open and otherwise healthy between you and the love of your life. So, here are some psychologically honed pieces of advice.

Recognize and accept that you are different


As people grow closer, their differences become more pronounced to each other, interfering with communication. At the beginning of the relationship, men and women think more alike, with the same ideas running across their minds at the same time. They relish the taste of a perfect understanding as they try to fit in with one another. But later they move into a more intimate stage where they see how different they can be – and then their work becomes to create a space where they connect despite their disagreements.

You are ready to devote time to one another

However busy your schedules may be, you should always find time to connect without the endless distractions of phones and other devices. The autopilot mode resorted to by some couples is all right as a basic structure underlying their other concerns – friends, work, kids that take up a lot of time. But it doesn’t reach deep enough for a satisfying relationship. There should be the time that you devote to your partner solely as you prepare holiday meals together, participate in hobbies and sports, or just take a walk to a place you haven’t been to yet.

You have rules for clearing up hard questions


Since you have to face some disputing, you would do well to set up basic rules for conducting arguments, like giving each other time-outs when the discussion gets too heated, exclude interrupting or postpone your arguing until a later date so as to take the edge off the problem and have a calm conversation.

Disagreements are conducted in a constructive fashion

Many disagreements include nothing but the parties stating their needs – whereas the right way to do it is sharing your feelings with your partner. So, if your partner is often late, don’t take it as grounds for reproaches. Say that when they are late you start worrying lest you should lose the restaurant reservation. Telling your partner what they must do is rarely a good idea for a fruitful discussion.

You always keep in mind you are functioning as a team


Dissatisfaction often leads us to accusations of our partner and pinning down their shortcomings. Before you embark on that unhelpful procedure consider your own contribution to the situation. Then you two should put before yourselves the question how it came about that you clashed so angrily. There are behavioral patterns that trigger off the other partner, after which both become too sensitive and may even react to one another without exchanging their emotions. That leads to a withdrawal in an attempt to avoid provoking, and the other party usually reacts by believing that they are not wanted anymore; eventually, both think they have been rejected. They need to regain understanding by an openhearted talk free of attempts to slight each other.

You keep being considerate to each other

There is only one way out of a stressful situation: calming yourself down and talking it over, as opposed to shouting at each other or shutting up. Logically, relationship (like everything else) requires the ability to pull yourself together and regain your composure. It’s easier to tell than to do, but techniques exist. First, workouts and meditation can do wonders to your stress level, so it becomes easier to cope when the situation gets critical. As the family atmosphere grows too heated, take a shower, step out for a walk, meditate on your breathing. A good idea is to cook some goodies that will smell nice. Reach an agreement with your partner that you get a time out at a set signal and then get together in some time to resume the argument.

You keep supporting each other


Support is a very meaningful word, embracing hearing your partner out, helping them talk over their issues at work or with friends, accompanying them to family gatherings and work events. When your partner offers some topic for discussion, ask them if they want you to ask questions, give advice or help solve issues in other ways. Your partner’s other relationships can get awkward or complicated, they may not want you to butt in too deeply, if so, let them smooth their problems out themselves and just stay by their side.

You both have your own friends and hobbies

Those who maintain their previous friendships and hobbies into the relationship are not detracting from it, rather adding to it. You bring in outside experiences to relate and discuss, your partner knows that you live a full life and do no lean on them in everything. It takes some careful time management, but it’s worth it.

You keep your feelings fresh


After some time passes, things can grow a little stale as you concentrate on things outside the union. Recapture the time of small gifts and gestures, paying compliments. You can even halt your intercourse for a while and then start anew rediscovering touches and caresses until the desire flares up high.

You always appreciate each other and bond

Your partner can be expected to do a lot of things deserving appreciation – a well-done household task, something achieved at work, or just showing their sunny side. All good reasons to give them credit. Voice your wishes and dreams, like going to a resort on your next vacation together or plan a picnic when the weather allows. Then ask about their wishes and preferences for spending time together. This is an excellent way to stay bonded and feel each other’s affirmation of your union and eagerness for quality time together.

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