11 Myths We Believe When Reuniting with an Ex

Many of us make attempts to restore the relations which, due to certain circumstances, have remained in the past. Of course, sometimes there are good reasons to return to your ex-partner; sometimes the game is still worth the candle. But in most cases, we realize after a while that the reasons for the reunion were nothing more than a myth.

Womendialogue.com explains why 11 most common excuses made in such situations are meaningless.

1. This time everything will be different

The world does not stand still, so everything will be different, of course. However, there is a high probability that the relationship will get even worse than before. According to the research, partners are paying less attention to the positive aspects of their relationship after reuniting and are more focused on the negative aspects. The attempts to fix something are rarely made and are not fruitful, as a rule. Besides, the partners tend to recall each other’s wrongs.

2. He has changed completely


People do not change. To be more precise, they do not change so quickly and easily. To get rid of even the most insignificant habit, you need a strong and sincere desire, motivation, hard work at improving yourself and time. You need to honestly answer the question, whether your ex-partner has everything needed to change?

3. No one knows me better than the former partner

Yes, that is right. You have spent a lot of time together, and it is natural that the former soulmate knows that you cannot stand fried onions and that you prefer wine to all other drinks. This cannot be an argument to revive the relationship because even the fact that you know a lot about each other will not help to avoid separation. Maybe, this is exactly the reason that contributes to breaking up: there should always be a secret in one’s relationship, after all.

4. I am surrounded by idiots, and I can hardly find a better man


Watching your new boyfriend awkwardly flounder in the children’s pool, you will remember how well your ex-partner used to swim. Maybe, he also drove his car more calmly and his jokes were more interesting. This may be called “the grass syndrome”, which always seems to be greener in the neighbor’s yard. Perhaps, your ex-boyfriend was better at swimming, but your new boyfriend irons his own shirts and is indifferent to computer games. We just do not want to see the difference because a new relationship is always a way out of your comfort zone. You just don’t want any stress.

5. Though not really good, but familiar

A human brain is more sensitive to losing than to winning, so for many of us it is much better to avoid a fine of $20 than to win the same amount of money in a lottery. However, the two situations are equivalent in terms of our budget, and in both cases there will be $20 in your wallet.
The same things are true about the relationship. Ask yourself what is better: to meet a fabulous person in one, two, or even five years and live happily together for the rest of your life, or go back and keep body and soul together in a mediocre relationship with a not really good, but familiar partner?

6. I do not have time to date someone else, and dating sites are not an option

If your date does not end up with an oath taken by the altar, it does not mean that it has been unsuccessful. Life is not only about altars. Getting to know a new person is primarily an opportunity to broaden your horizons. Besides, you should not forget about the Internet. For example, about 17% of couples in the US got married last year after finding each other on dating sites.

7. We’ll remain friends, and time will show what to do next

Friendship between former partners is generally characterized by mediocre quality. Such relations are not marked by emotionality and trust. In fact, they often happen to be a veiled mercenary desire of one of the partners. Besides, the desire to be friends with a former partner may be a sign of mental illness.

8. You kissed when you were a little drunk. You could as well go home together


This is what happens in almost half of the cases. After a breakup, 43% of women sleep with the ex-lover. Therefore, if you woke up with your former partner, please note that your case is not unique and that there is no reason to start from scratch. Just do your best not to make it your regular practice because regular sex with an ex-partner is a very big obstacle on the way to a big and bright future.

9. Perfect people do not exist

That is true: none of us is perfect. But no one needs ideal people as well. It is imperfect people who are loved and led to the altar, as you might have noticed. That’s because the partner should simply be your match, your other half, and your soulmate.

Your relationship has collapsed not because someone in your couple is far from being perfect. You just do not fit together. Admit this bitter truth and keep living.

10. My ex-partner does not leave me alone

It often happens that after the relationship your partner suddenly becomes suspiciously active. Calls, messages, comments on social networks, and sometimes even unexpected visits. Love is the most probable verdict we reach in such cases. You may think he loves and cannot forget you. Unfortunately, such behavior most often illustrates the need for total control and the desire to check if you are still hooked. As a rule, it has nothing to do with the tender feeling you hope for.

11. Am I making a mountain out of a molehill?


Maybe you are. If relatives, work, or other external circumstances become the cause of separation, the decision should sometimes be reviewed, and the second try can happen to be successful. The chances are increased even further, if this is your first separation, and you have a lot of similar interests with your partner. But unfortunately, serious circumstances, such as treason, most often become the cause of a breakup. This is not an exaggeration, but a real reason to end the relationship.

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