When a crush descends on you all of a sudden, you feel like you’ve finally learned to fly! You seem to see the person who gave you this butterfly feeling everywhere, and your heart skips a beat when you think you have caught a glimpse of them out of the corner of your eye. And the storm inside when you find they have liked your new photo on Instagram! Yet you are well aware that what feels so great can also make you unbearably miserable. If you haven’t won the person you have a crush on yet, the only thought of them meeting someone else, talking and laughing together with another person, can turn your innards upside down. And where’s the answer to your latest text? You begin to check your phone compulsorily every five minutes. The heart is never in the right place, something is always gnawing at it. And tears are hovering somewhere very close to the eyes.
And then there may come a time when you want to shake it off. Those mood shifts, from exaltation to dejection and back, have tired you out, and you cannot but feel that it’s good time to engage into a little more self-care. After all is said and done, you are the most important person in your life.
Now you’ve decided on it, you may need a little help in this difficult task.
Keep tabs on how the crush is developing
It’s important to feel when your crush begins to grow bad on you. When things are getting from bad to worse, it’s a clear indication that you may be better off getting rid of your feelings. Think: how well do you succeed in drawing the person’s attention to yourself? After you have had a long talk, do you feel invigorated or emptied out? Sometimes it occurs that you observe in them a fact that you rather dislike? Or imply all these rides up and down many times a day have already exhausted you emotionally? You no longer feel sure of yourself, and you are losing interest… In many ways, a crush that began so wonderfully may go stale. We all know how many complications there are on the road to love. So, if you feel that something is going wrong, you can trust this misgiving. Even if you have been hearing from your BFFs the same for a while, now they are your feelings. If you are not getting what you want, is it worth your while to keep expecting that you will some day?
Crushes have something in common with mosquitoes – they buzz, bite, and attract a lot of attention to themselves in different ways. The more you scratch, the longer it will take to heal. Heed this advice, then, and keep away as much as you can. Even if you have to see them every day in college or in the office, don’t keep watching them and checking what they are doing and whom they are talking to. But what can be difficult in real life is easy online: un-follow them, avoid thinking up reasons to text them and engage in a chat. Tear yourself away from surfing about their social profiles. Nothing good can come of it.
Get yourself engaged otherwise
Since it’s not so easy to stop scratching the wound, you have to take your mind off it. Make busy plans for weekends, rope in your friends, and take photos of yourself smiling deep into your chosen activity for Instagram. Think of a hobby or a group activity that can be of interest to you, a club you ever fancied joining. Don’t think twice, join and get involved! Set out time for it and try to distract yourself from worrying thoughts.
Let your feelings die down gradually
If you have decided on ending it all, you must be really having a pain searing in your heart! And you won’t be able to dampen it at a moment’s notice, not even at a week’s notice. You shouldn’t expect a quick and convenient success. Acknowledge the way you feel and don’t let it spoil your attitude to the world, to your friends and others. Don’t stifle it by force, rather estrange yourself from your bad feelings and go on.
You know you had a hard period of a crush that was nevertheless precious to you and brought you some unforgettable moments. Chalk up your feelings as real and lay them in lavender, waiting for a better relationship to come by. You know that you deserve better, although you may not be feeling it right now, but stick with the idea!