When, as the evening is drawing nearer, you get back home, your eyes recognize it as your house on the street, but it is your heart that tells you it’s your home where you long to be and where you feel reposed. You shut the door on the outer world and know that your heart is in the right place. Sometimes it is you who makes it this way, but more often – and more efficaciously – your beloved woman impregnates the rooms with the essence of that divine homely feeling. There are some who believe that you cannot have a real home without a woman’s touch, and probably it is true.
Yet a woman, bringing in her special home-creating magic, also brings in some secrets in her heart that had better remain never revealed to the outside world. Let sleeping secrets lie, and you won’t know the abysses of doubt gnawing at your heart. Just go on believing that your chosen one is marvelous beyond all comparison and deserves all the trust in the world. It can easily be true, and you won’t regret it. But today we will move the curtain aside a bit and take a quick glance at the dark secrets hidden away from the light.
The truth is, women are well versed in the fine art of deception. They have been practicing it for centuries and they are not going to stop. It doesn’t have anything to do with love – it’s just in their blood. So, while husbands may stay dead sure they know their wives from tip to toe and can say what they are doing at any given moment, there is always another side of the female heart at work to ensure that what they want concealed is concealed. A dangerous idea – to think that your wife is above this ancient game, and these 15 paragraphs will make you realize the real state of things.
Yet the general advice remains the same: better refrain from trying to get in on her secrets. You will hear some of them when she is in the mood for confessions; but what you learn is only a small percent of the whole big truth. To dare further than what she told you might mean loads of trouble for the simple reason that it is not men’s country. Read the article to know what to stay away from and be happy.
The men she was with before
While most of men are not averse to recounting their love affairs to the woman they are in love with now, women are apt to keep mum about it. They don’t want their past to interfere with the present – and they are quite right to be afraid of that. Husbands are not known for their taking in their wives’ previous loves with due grace. Picture yourself listening for a period of time how your beloved wife was wrapped up in another guy, and you will understand that you want none of it. This kind of sharing is likely to shatter your calm and leave you brooding. Your wife feels it in her guts that stories from her past love life will disturb you greatly, and if you keep being curious about them, she, on the contrary, will do her best to lead you away from the topic. And she is quite right if you start to think about it in terms of keeping your feelings unflustered. What you may want to hear is in the past, and there’s no point in letting it in on the present. If you enjoy your present life, why go upsetting the applecart?
Keeping it smooth with her mother-in-law
A clever woman will always be able to pretend she is a perfect daughter-in-law, but you would do well to stop and think: how can she ever like this job? Your wife wants to have you at home for the two of you to decide on the kind of lifestyle and daily routine you both would like to lead; the presence of your parents will naturally intrude upon this scheme, no matter how considerate they may be. The way your wife sees it, your parents mean so much to you that you are not going to put objections on their way nor have any objections put. You love your old folks and they love you – that’s why they come up with their well-meaning advice which often gets in the way of you as a couple. So she acts on the assumption that you are the last person to discuss the difficulties of living together with your parents/acting invariably on their advice with; she has to humor them and keep smiling every time the family gets together. And think about men who were brought up in total submission to their parents, who are practically unable to do anything before they are given the green light by their mom or dad! There’s little what women hate more than this kind of attitude – it means their submission as well or plunging in a fight for the man’s decisions, which is a poor choice really.
The jealousy issue
The more love there is in a relationship, the more grounds it gives for jealousy to set in. Even if your wife knows she can trust you implicitly because you have eyes only for her, there’s always the danger of an unscrupulous woman lurking around who might wish to seduce you. Secretaries, female co-workers come in for their share of suspicion for the single reason of your spending too much time together. These ruminations may get the woman so frenzied that she starts spying on you, sniffing at your clothes, rummaging through pockets in search of a tell-tale piece of evidence, peeking on phone calls. Even having husbands shadowed is not an unheard-of practice. It can be difficult to understand how they got to behaving like this; the answer is they need to feel reassured that your commitment to your marriage is still strong. Meanwhile they try to keep their suspicions and their spying in the dark because this attitude is likely to get the husband worried.
Indulging in carnal pleasures
The predominant attitude about sex in the present-day society is preposterous in some ways. Men are accustomed to believe they need to satisfy their sexual needs through dominating over their wives whose sexual preferences are often neglected. Actually, men and women are not different in terms of sexual craving: both long for an active and fulfilling sexual life and suffer if they are left unsatiated. Of course it often happens that it is the husband that shows his want of sex and women respond (even if they feel tired after a long day). But if a woman goes by without sufficient sex and has to conceal her desire, it can result in behavior unwelcome in a relationship: she will either seek bodily satisfaction on the side or get hooked on masturbating. So, regular sex should be maintained and enjoyed by both parties as a sure way to keep marriage going.
Naturally, not all married women acquire a taste for engaging in extramarital affairs, but there are some that definitely do. They have no qualms about playing their secret games behind their husbands’ backs or using their husbands’ money to take another man to places where they can be together. Such families are usually very unhappy ones. As often as not the woman is trying to find elsewhere the love she doesn’t get within her family. When a woman has formed an extramarital relationship and she keeps it secret, that can be for two reasons. First, she doesn’t want to lose the wealth and comfortable life she gets from the husband, or she may not have the guts to come open and declare herself sinning against him. Anyway, there are means to find her out – only before having it out with her, get enough evidence to be dead sure she is unfaithful and betraying your trust.
Her ways to get money
It is undoubtedly very nice to be self-reliant and have an independent income, many women really appreciate this arrangement. But what are homemakers to do? They can’t have a constant source of money, they have to rely financially on their husbands. Of course it’s awkward for them, and many stay-at-home women are trying to resolve the situation so they can have some pocket greenbacks for their own expenditure. They set up personal blogs and draw visitors to them by uploading popular content; they get involved in marketing which can be pursued from home and enable them to purchase accessories and other needful things with their own earnings. It’s great to be able to pay for your and your kid’s snacks when you go out with your own money. These activities are often kept secret because you may want to give her less money now you know she can get a few bucks on the side.
As your wife goes out to the stores, she is very likely to return laden heavily with bags of all descriptions. She grabs at any excuse to go to the shopping mall and set herself loose there. It’s a very trying habit for the husband who is not at all sure that his wife won’t go overspending. Since women realize it, but are not going to give up on shopping sprees, they find ways to do it stealthily. It’s so much easier nowadays when you can order on the store’s site and collect the ordered items or have them delivered to the home. What are they supposed to do if they are bent on a marvelous lingerie collection or a new handbag that has just hit the shops? Even bill manipulation is possible to gain these glorious ends. Whatever means you employ to control your beloved shopaholic, she will find ways to circumvent them. It’s a battle lost before it’s begun, and if you can close your eyes on that, so much the better.
There are times when quarrels spring up out of the blue; unsuspecting husbands find themselves plunged in the heat of an argument before they had time to realize what is going on. They have next to no idea what the storm is raging about – yet the wife is enraged and pained and on the verge of tears! Actually, these outbursts are quite understandable. Suppose your wife believes you render too much help to your brother – but that’s not the topic she can bring up with you easily. She feels frustrated, and that provides the reason for her flaring up so swiftly at the slightest provocation. It often happens once a month when women have their mood swings. With some of them it is a very trying period that can aggravate their relationship badly, because they get so irritable that they are ready to fly off the handle at practically any moment. Men have to be understanding when it is coming on and be able to comfort and soothe the woman so that she can give vent to her feelings in a more controlled fashion.
When health fails
Being a good wife means a lot of work – taking care of the children, doing household chores, looking after the husband, often all at the same time. There will come a time when the overwork tells on the health – fatigue increases, the back starts to crinkle, moving fast becomes a problem. The wife is used to seeing to it that the family’s day-to-day life runs smoothly, so when her health begins to play up, the other family members may feel sad and forlorn. When it happens, husbands may take time off work to stay with their wives who are feeling below par to help them along with their recovery, and that is quite sweet. Yet many women don’t want to disrupt the family life and sadden their hubbies and children – they prefer to banish all thoughts about their ailments and go on like nothing’s the matter. Men have to be very attentive to understand when their darling wives are in bad need of recharging their energy – it is not always obvious and when she complains it’s usually too far gone.
Eating, dieting, indulging…
Sitting down at the kitchen table the woman may want to make out as if she were not that hungry and eat less than she would like to – while actually more often than not she longs for a good substantial meal. Nevertheless she doesn’t feel like making this fact obvious to everyone! She knows that a respectable behavior would mean mentioning dieting, food balance and calories, not forgetting to speak of the desirability to join a sports club, rather than enjoy her plateful. What should she do to compensate her for acting correct in public? As soon as you’re out for work, she rings for a pizza or sushi and gets her tummy as full as she wants it to be. Many women find it far more comfortable to eat little before the family but indulge when they are left alone.
Secret accounts on social media
Who hasn’t got a secret account to amuse themselves at? An account on social network sites that no-one knows about provides an excellent opportunity to socialize with people and probably make good friends you can talk to without reservations. On the one hand, it is deplorable because it is a secret, on the other hand there’s nothing wrong with making a few acquaintances and exchanging your opinions with them without your husband’s knowing. The more so if your husband doesn’t want you to go online fearing that his wife’s profile may draw in other men who will want to flirt. Some men go as far as visiting their wives’ walls on Facebook to read the comments and see how they are conversing with others. So if a woman feels like chatting with men without getting censured for it, check up on her ex or even comment on her hubby’s (or boyfriend’s) behavior to an online friend, she will certainly register a secret account.
Hateful home habits
What’s bad in feeling that your relationship is going great and both of you suit each other down to the ground? Even if it’s not exactly true, the idea is soothing and worth a little keeping up. Therefore men are often allowed to believe they are an answer to their wives’ prayer and there’s no-one better than they. Especially if it’s a long time they heard any complaints about their habits and behaviors. But a woman may opt not to voice her irritation although there are things she definitely hates. For example, the way men handle their clothes is often found objectionable, but the woman puts things right without voicing her displeasure. Why harp on such trifles and break the peace? Many of males’ habits around the house are looked upon with scorn – but it never gets discussed because the woman doesn’t think her man is open-minded enough to talk about it. It’s a man’s job to confute this attitude and reveal himself as a person who wants his wife to share her opinions freely and feel better for that.
Achievements can be a problem
A modern woman has gained equality, and with it, the capability to surpass men in her chosen field. There are families where the woman is a more successful professional than her partner – and the saddest part is, the partner may feel uncomfortable about it. The woman wouldn’t like to speak about her achievements because this kind of talk can be harmful for the marriage. A man who is aware that his wife earns more than he does and is regarded as a better professional begins to feel inferior. What’s more, he finds it hard keep it inside and can seek cheap consolation in cracking jokes about it and trying to salve his wounded pride with bitter words. This kind of attitude is, of course, inadmissible. A successful woman would like her husband to take pride in her and inspire her to further achievements rather than feel absurdly guilty that she fared better in life. It may be a straining situation for a man, but the one to put up with for the family’s sake.
Bank accounts never to be disclosed!
Yes, many women refuse to disclose their bank account information to their husbands. There are reasons for this: first, it will give hubbies an excellent clue to their wives’ ways of spending money; second, bank accounts are initially very private things, to be shared at risk. By insisting to have access to her bank accounts men can put women in a false position, making them feel insecure. The question crosses the mind at once: what does he need the information for? She would like to feel free handling her money matters even if she doesn’t earn that much. Unwillingness to share bank account details is not a proof of mistrust and mishandling, it is a strong privacy issue that should be respected. There is such a thing as too much control, which is not felicitous for a healthy relationship.
Feel the love
You are together bound by love, and it is a very comfortable feeling to live with. You know that she keeps thinking of you, she takes good care of the children she wanted to have with you, and she tries to please you whenever she can. Maybe while busy expressing her love in deeds she doesn’t have a good chance to express it in words. She stopped texting you words of love and speaking romantic language some time ago, but she is there for you when you need someone to lay bare your heart to or to attend to your needs when you fall ill. Her love is very much visible in the way she tries to keep you satisfied, healthy and energetic every day. Do you feel her support enveloping you through the day? Well, that’s what love is about. And if you feel low on romance, well, it’s up to you to revive it and arrange for that extra romantic date you haven’t had for years. For love is always there for you in all ways possible, and that is your woman’s greatest secret.