Make Your Marriage a Lasting Affair

When people enter into a marriage, they mean (or are supposed to mean) it to last – well, maybe not till death comes to part you, as they say – but for a respectably lengthy period of time. But when they get together, they find that it can be a roughish ride. Then the word “divorce” comes up, and eventually, many marriages dissolve…

Well, it doesn’t happen to everybody, certainly it doesn’t have to be you who add to the appalling divorce rate. Anyway, those who wish to stay on together have to follow a bunch of rules that are quite simple. Here are some hints that can make a relationship healthier, thus ensuring its longer life.

Don’t look upon marriage as a contract

In certain ways marriage is a contract, and it can be a very good idea to draw a pre-nup, but it is also a commitment, and that’s how you had better look at it. People know that they can file for a divorce only too well, and when plain sailing turns into rough sailing, the desire to drop out grows strong. A better way is to maintain the commitment attitude as both spouses take it upon themselves to straighten problems out together.

Remember not to expect a perfect relationship

Relationships can be very tricky, springing unexpected surprises on both of you – but it often happens because you and your lives are undergoing changes. You want to accept changes, even if they are not for better. Actually, you can grow disappointed or bored with your partner.

It’s not quite good, but it’s not so bad, either. You have expected everything to go along ideally, that’s why you may be pained. Keep in mind that these shortcomings don’t prevent your marriage from being a happy one.

There’s no need to bring down your in-laws

Your mother-in-law may get at you every time you meet, yet she is his one and only mom, and you can’t change that. There’s nothing to be gained by explaining to him why she is unbearable… You are out for mutual support and understanding, it doesn’t turn out that way? Well, try to contact as little as you can.

Avoid being constantly negative

Unceasing negativity is something that can kill any relationship quickly and effectively. Have you fallen into the habit of picking at him? Complaining? So you have wishes that you feel are neglected? Try to discuss them and explain calmly about your wishes. A calm approach may bring in better results, because complaints can make other people argumentative.

Maintain unstifled communication

Besides giving each other chances to talk over issues that are on your minds, every partner wants to be listened to with proper attention. Now, it requires certain skills to be done in a satisfying fashion, if you don’t feel you have them, consulting a psychologist may be a good idea for both of you.

Spend quality time together regularly

Your bond is made stronger by the time you spend together. Nights out, dates, attending local events, or just quiet evenings at home watching flicks or discussing the day’s happenings make you feel closer to each other. Be sure to always find time for your significant other and for the things you both enjoy doing.

Learn to live down imperfections

Whatever our dreams, we will never make a perfect companion for our partner (nor will they for us, for that matter!). Marriage is not about looking for an ideal, it is about learning to live down drawbacks and focus on the person’s good traits and pleasure of his being around.

Marriage thrives on unconditional loving

Some people wait until they are given before they give in return – but this attitude isn’t the one that is going to make your relationship last. It can lead to bargaining over how much each of you brings into your marriage, someone is sure to feel he or she is receiving less than they deserve, and the situation becomes ripe for disillusionment. Conflict is just around the corner. By giving love unconditionally you clear the atmosphere between you.

See that your talk is meaningful

You both are busy, and the topics that are foremost upon your minds are often household to-dos, menus for dinners and daily arrangements. All this does need attention and discussion, but you don’t want your conversations to be limited to those. Although the topics that bring the most gratification are your hopes and wishes, attitudes and maybe fears. That is when you really touch each other as persons, get to understand each other better and cultivate trust. If you know that your partner is always ready to listen to and accept what you want to voice, you will know true appreciation and feel secure.

Value your union

Tell your spouse as often as you can that you are glad to have him and you appreciate what he is and what he does for you. Let him feel to be the apple of your eye and the joy of your life.

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