The worst thing is to wake up in ten years and realize that you are lying next to a completely different person. It’s not about a crazy night when you wake up in an unfamiliar apartment. It’s more about unsure girls, thinking whether “that guy is the right one.” Doubts are normal, and it is better to have them before you give birth to a couple of kids and share a common apartment in a sleeping area.
People often retain their unhappy relationship only because they are afraid of loneliness or do not want to solve family problems related to divorce. We are convinced that it’s never too late to be happy, but we advise you to make sure that the right person is next to you. The following signs will help to understand that you have made a mistake with your choice.
1. You cannot be honest with him
Honesty in a relationship is not about morality, but about your own comfort. You can lie to your mother that you are wearing the ugly sweater presented by her; you can tell your friends that this bag costs $500 rather than $25, but in a relationship with a man you want to say things as they are, and only then you will be understood. There is nothing more humiliating than the need to dodge and conceal the truth from the closest person fearing that he will condemn you.
2. You look at happy couples with envy
Sometimes you look at two people, and the meaning of the notorious comparison with the two halves becomes clear to you. Have you seen those inseparable figures in the corners of cafes, on benches in the park, on the back seat of the bus? Do you remember them muttering something in each other’s hair, fondling their fingers, arguing agitatedly, both of them being ready to concede? It’s hard not to frown, looking at these sentiments. The spectacle is really not a pleasant one. And the most disgusting thing is that you suddenly feel lonely. A treacherous thought flashes your mind: “I wish I were one of them.” You turn around, and your beloved one is grimly chewing a sandwich, staring at the smartphone. Is this happiness? You must have pictured it somehow differently.
3. You cannot be yourself with him
Starting a relationship, we unwillingly become extremely compliant. You have convinced yourself many times that you must not swear, that you do not really want to go to the club even though your friends called you, that you are delighted with the Superman films and are looking forward to the sequel of Star Wars? After a year of such a relationship, you realize you have to give up your position, you see that an endless attempt to match his ideal does not bring the desired result. Even if you put your “ego” in the inner pocket of your winter jacket, barely worn since last year, you will remain yourself. Only your very unhappy and depressed self.
4. You have to limit yourself all the time
It is not necessary to completely share the interests of one another. The main thing is that it should not limit your individuality. The happiest relationship is when both do not aspire to merge into a single organism, but give the loved one the opportunity to remain an all-round personality. He may not understand your hobbies, but he must accept and respect them.
5. He does not satisfy you in bed
Of course, sex is not the main thing, especially after the first two dates. As for the rest of your common life, sex should be an inexhaustible source of joy, a source of light in the dusty darkness of your routine rather than another reason for disappointment. Lack of attraction to a partner and chronic sexual dissatisfaction will inevitably lead to cheating. Remember that no matter how rich he is spiritual, it is not worth shutting your eyes to this “small” misunderstanding for the rest of your life.
6. He’s annoying you
In general (here you sigh heavily and raise your eyes), he is not bad. Two arms, two legs, he is not rude about trifles. What else do you want? If only he were less sloppy with soup during dinner. If only he did not squeal like a wounded seagull when laughing. And if only he weren’t thinking over the restaurant menu for half an hour, as if he were going to choose a life partner. The thing is that he enrages you, even doing nothing. The mere fact of his existence seems annoying to you. But since there is no formal reason for discontent, you continue to convince yourself that things should go this way. Living together always means hard work, but you do not need to turn it into torture. It is important to decide what kind of shortcomings you are ready to accept, and which you will never reconcile with. If the second category is more numerous, this is not your relationship.
7. You have no common interests
It is not necessary to share all the interests of each other, but it is necessary to have at least one in common. You should have an occupation, except sex, which both of you can do for fun. The absence of common values and interests leads to emotional alienation. If you cannot find a middle ground in any possible way – will it be easier for you to find a new man?
8. Your friends hate him
This is by no means the main criterion, but if your entire environment claims that this man is a moron, and he is not a good match for you – maybe it’s worth thinking about their words. Love often blindfolds our minds, but fortunately, it’s not contagious, and other people continue to look at your boyfriend soberly. Besides, these are the people you trust. Friends are not needed to only have someone to drink with at the weekend. Sometimes they can say useful things. Of course, this sign can only be an addition to other arguments rather than the main one.