Long distance relationships are still a questionable affair for many, though they have a variegated history behind them. People are apt to believe that this kind of relationship is bound to fail, but there are studies that actually prove the opposite: separation can sometimes equal satisfaction! It’s true that it is not easy to maintain and requires a certain level of skill to keep the fire burning. So, if you have miles and miles between you, there are some things you ought to know so that your love-line doesn’t get thinner and thinner as months go by.
Know your best means of communication
When you’re in the same town and get together regularly, you don’t really need to get in touch every day. But in a long-distance relationship, you can’t be out of touch for long. But for regular communication, you need to know the best communication style that will suit you both. While some people are glad to hear from their important other at any moment in time, others can be reluctant to get distracted during their work hours – or have some time set aside for discussing the events of the day because they feel comfortable at this time and able to give you all their attention. If you already know the person well, you have agreed on a suitable kind of style, but if you’re at the beginning of the journey, this is the point you will want to clear up first of all.
Reveal your needs
A must for any communication meant to be long-term and serious is knowing what you expect from your partner (and likewise what they expect from you). So the thing is to share your expectations and needs before you get involved too deeply. It can make you vulnerable in a manner, but it is definitely worth the risk. When you know and are willing to satisfy the other’s demands and need for attention, you run good chances that your relationship is durable.
Set how much trust you are going to put in
As you do not exist in your partner’s life except by communication, you have to invest some trust in the relationship. Probably you have a history of unfaithfulness and there may be trust issues in the communication. So trust boundaries had better be set as soon as it is appropriate – it will help you avoid becoming too controlling or too trusting, and you will know how much the other person goes along with you. Once you’ve thrashed the point out, you can proceed to build a more trusting relationship, because you integrate the partner more into your life. It can make them feel better in spite of the distance. Also, they are less likely to feel that they’re only on the verge of your life.
Be able to handle fights
Sleeping on a dispute, as everybody knows, is not advisable, because estrangement may grow. If you are far apart, dissatisfaction and estrangement can develop so quickly you won’t realize it has happened. So you should address your disagreements before they have a chance to grow into distancing. Talk them over at once, giving distinct preference to calling and not texting. Texts are open to misinterpreting, whereas you can put across your point of view much more passionately and convincingly when your partner hears you online and sees you as well!
Freshen up your relationship
Keep in mind the time when your relationship has just started and was resembling puppy love with its flirting and making little surprises for each other because your partner is always on your mind? Well, this kind of attitude is especially important for long-distance relationships to make them last. Send your important other pieces of poetry, nice pictures, flowers, small gifts sd often as you can for no special reason. Think of some new ideas to keep things fresh, act out of character: all this is sure to add to your happiness.
Take it easy when you feel lonely
Loneliness and feeling torn apart are the dangers that await all those who are in long-distance relationship. Sometimes the separation is just more than you can bear. You must have a running inner mechanism that helps you cope with it, change your mood and reconnect with your loving feelings. Work out a ritual which will be conducive to changing your state of mind – it may be a walk, physical exercises, writing down your thoughts and emotions, anything that takes you out of your gloomy condition.
Plan your meetings
The in-person type of relationship is less open to intensity that goes with the relationship when you are far apart. So you may need an incentive badly, like meetings, visits to one another. If you plan your meetings beforehand, you can talk about them, discuss and enjoy scheduling things you are going to do together, it gives you a tangible future plan you can hold on to. Make sure you are both free and ready for a visit, imagine your time together and share your imaginings. That should make your bond stronger.
Nurture your romantic feelings
Of course, romance is the basis under and the fire within your relationship, be it long-distance or in-person, but it can be more important in the first case. Tell your important others that you love them regularly, remind them of the time you fell for each other, what makes them so unique in our eyes. Rejoice in their successes. Psychologists say that it’s more important to share the moments of success with a person than to share their moments of grief and sadness. So, try to react to every instance of their coming on top and celebrate them together.
That includes sex, too. Keep up your sexual connection to feel that it is not mere friendship, but a serious union that is meant to be. Cope with your frustration in the way you both like it, over Skype, over the phone, by text, flirt or talk dirty, imagine and share. You have less time together than other people, make sure you are intimate for a while when you are in touch. These episodes should keep up your affection and infatuation with each other.
Live a full life
A growing dependence on your partner is a sure road to hell regarding all types of relationships, the online type included. You should keep a firm hold on your own life, some spheres of which have nothing to do with your important other. This way you make sure you don’t put pressure on the person to participate (and feel answerable) in everything you do – it can be too much for anyone. The healthiest way for every couple is to have hobbies and socialize with people outside the relationship, and when the other person is far from you and unable to share your life, it becomes crucial.
Keep balance between expectations and reality
You don’t want your online relationship to swerve into a dead end, so you need to check your plans and expectations against your communication issues and commitment schedules on a regular basis. People are different, and situations are subject to change, so your needs and plans may have to be reviewed so that you keep enjoying quality time together. It’s more difficult in a long-distance relationship and requires being always open with one another.