There is no objective reason for cheating. Yet, when faced with cheating, you still ask yourself the question: “Why did he do it?”. The researchers, studying treachery, distinguish several clear psychological models, which are followed by most cheaters. We have figured out how those who cheat on their partners think.
They are afraid of conflicts
The main explanation to cheating is dissatisfaction in the relationship. The cheater is inclined to shift the responsibility to the partner. Actually, the problem is his unwillingness to handle the conflict rather than to run away from it. Such a person is afraid of talking with a partner about what bothers him. It’s easier for him to find the missing emotions on the side than to start a conflict, clarify something, and try to reconstruct their own relationship.
Nothing seems to be fixed
Another reason is that the cheater believes the relationship cannot be saved. However, he does not dare to terminate it because of the comfort – common children, an apartment, and other reasons. This is a situation where the relationship has already ended in the head of one of the partners, whereas the other partner prefers not to notice this.
They see cheating as a way to keep the relationship alive
There is a special logic in the cheater’s head. Sometimes a person loves the partner, appreciates him as a person, considers him family, but lacks other qualities, such as passion in bed or being able to realize special desires in a relationship. He does not want to leave because everything suits him. He does not know either how to get the right qualities. Then the person comes up with cheating as a way to solve the problem of dissatisfaction and keep the relationship.
For some people, cheating means getting sex, which is not enough in a relationship. This can be a certain type of sex, a sex style, frequency of sex or the feelings that sex gives. The reason can be purely physical.
They have problems with control
For some people, the very idea of monogamy becomes a problem. At the same time, this is the only form of relations approved by society, so many do not want to admit polygamy. For them, the problem is not in a specific relationship, but in their structure as a whole. Such a person is frightened by the thought that he must spend his whole life with only one partner. He does not like the prohibitions and restrictions connected with monogamy. Cheating is a form of protest for such guys.
They minimize their actions
This is the typical way a cheater thinks: to convince himself and others that sleeping with another person is no big deal. In his opinion, this does not mean that he has stopped loving a partner or is unhappy in a relationship. It was just a one-time sex that does not mean anything. By the time cheating becomes apparent, the guy manages to convince himself that he is right.
Low self-esteem or narcissism
People prone to cheating can be narcissists or extremely complex individuals. Despite the fact that these are opposite qualities, they require the same – constant attention and love. They need to always confirm their value and significance. They are not ready to miss any chance to please their self-esteem. Even if they get love from a partner, they still cannot give up attention.
They cheat in order to try and terminate the relationship
Sometimes cheating is a passive-aggressive way to end a relationship. The person lacks the determination to say directly that he wants to separate. At the same time, he can feel resentment for the partner, but he does not express anger directly. Such people cheat and subconsciously or consciously hope that the fact of it will be revealed, and then the relationship will be over due to the other partner’s initiative. They are ready for anything, but they do not make the decision.
Of course, all of the above mentioned is not a reason for cheating. These are just the ways for people to rationalize their behavior. Understanding these thoughts will only help to better understand their actions, but not to justify them. Do you know any other reasons that people use to explain cheating?