We cannot bank on an ideal relationship – how can we when there are no perfect people in this world? Yet when we embark on a relationship the very idea of this relationship we invest our hopes and dreams in breaking up can be fairly frightening. This possibility is always there looming ahead, and if you refuse to recognize it doesn’t mean that you have secured a guarantee of a relationship that will withstand the impact of time. Even if there is love, it doesn’t follow that you won’t go and mishandle the situation.
What you need to ensure a lasting union besides initial compatibility is a foundation of mutual trust and respect. You need to know that even when you disagree with each other your conflicts will be resolved in a mature and respectful way. This way they won’t mar your relationship.
You will want to know how to tell whether your current relationship is an abiding one – and checking this list of healthy signs you can do it. But mind you don’t have to have all of them, and when you find some of these items are lacking, don’t jump to the conclusion that sooner or later you are certain to fall apart. No.
But of course you would like to hone your already blooming relationship to perfection, and if there are points that you feel you wish to have between you and your partner, yes, relationship can be evolved and made even better, and you know what aspects need to be developed so you can enjoy your union more!
You have excellent communication
Doubtlessly you know that your relationship must have a strong foundation which is communication. It goes without saying that unless you can freely discuss your preferences and your needs with the S.O. or explain to them your concern over some behavior of theirs, your relationship will start developing cracks. So, those unions in which partners think on the same frequency and maintain effective communication flow, will be able to last for any stretch of time.
Therefore, if you feel that your communication is not quite up to the mark, make sure you both agree on developing it, for it is a skill you can improve.
You can boast complete trust
Without trust you cannot have any satisfying relationship. Where there is no trust relationships are riddled with insecurity and poison sets in. They are bound to go wrong sooner or later. Meanwhile, spouses who have full trust in each other free their love of a lot of problems. Trust thrives on reliability – your S.O. knows that you will keep your word, that their secrets are safe with you, that you will never let them down even in small things and will always be there for them. This is a priceless gift which is not bestowed upon everybody randomly. If you have earned trust, make sure you keep it.
You can’t stop being affectionate
A relationship can be regarded as an invitation to display affection; actually, what is it if not laden with affection? Now the ways of being affectionate is something that can tell volumes about your relationship.
There are millions of affectionate gestures, like sending sudden romantic texts or dropping by flower shops to pick up a bunch of flowers just because. All of them reveal a desire to be outward with feelings, which is very indicative. Everywhere. Yet if your partner happens to be very expressive within four walls but looks like a cold fish when you are in public, it spells bad for your happiness together.
You are surprising with your kind actions
Sometimes we can be much nicer to strangers and people we barely know than to our nearest and dearest. While it occurs now and again, there is no love without kindness, so if it is a permanent situation, there may not be so much affection between you two after all.
A couple that is truly and deeply in love will be mutually kind, caring, passionate, without working hard at it. It comes naturally to them. You know that your significant person has a problem, you will want to step in and lend a hand, right? Even if it is a trifling matter like doing things about the house while your partner is busy with an urgent work assignment, it can go a long way. Or when they are feeling low and downhearted, you will want to get them in a brighter mood and arrange some entertainment or a nice gift.
However strong you may believe your relationship is, regular acts of kindness will make it stronger yet.
You keep up dating
Dates are a wonderful way to spend your time together that also help you to know and understand your partner better. There is absolutely no reason to cease dating just because you are already a committed pair. Many devoted couples who are sure of their mutual love and don’t seem to need dates any more keep on dating. It brings them some extra passion, it allows them to invent small surprises for each other, and it can bring out new sides of their personalities.
Any relationship strikes a phase when it gets duller due to the unending string of routine tasks that constitute such a large part of our lives. Dating provides a break in these boring activities supplying you with fresh emotions and reminding that life is fun.
You team up for hard tasks
Top managers are well aware that when you want some good team work done it’s not enough to pen up a lot of people together – you have to be sure these people like one another so they can pull the job. The same goes for any close relationship.
When people are in a durable relationship they are simultaneously in love and good friends, meaning they are ready to get by through thick and thin together using an efficient support system that proved its worth more than once. Such couples know the unique pleasure of knowing that there is sturdy back-up in any kind of problematic situation life has thrown your way.
You are always cheerleading for each other
There are many examples around of couples where one partner does out of their way to promote the career and wishes of their spouse forgetting his own needs in the process; or probably, their needs are shrugged off as unimportant when expressed. These examples do not bespeak a strong relationship.
In a relationship that is genuinely strong both partners add their strength to the other’s. They both know they are strong and that each is struggling towards their mutual boon, so they keep cheering and supporting each other helping reach their individual goals. And when one of the partners attains the goal, the other takes pride in the fact and celebrates the achievement.
How can you bring yourself to part with a person who is your best cheerleader and supporter along your way? No, never.
You share your feelings, wishes and fears
Since we all have goals, here is another significant symptom of an enduring relationship: you and your partner discuss your wishes, impressions, dreams, hopes and fears with comfort and ease. This is important because such things come from our innermost hearts, and the lightest stab, however unintentionally delivered, may cause pain. Think – none of us is going to share our dreams with somebody who happened to be sitting near us in a subway train. Even if you know the person is all right and it will not involve derisory comments on your frame of mind, you won’t feel comfortable airing your feelings.
Therefore, if you know you are not vulnerable but safe discussing your hopes, doubts and other feelings with your partner, it means that your relationship is likely to be a lasting one.
You enjoy yourselves together
Life is not one uninterrupted fun – it embraces a lot of tedium like doing the laundry, washing up, opening bills. This can get anybody down and make your family life grayer and grayer so the flames of love get gradually dowsed. Of course this mustn’t happen, and you need relief of the routine.
Long-relationship partners know that and see to it they have fun and treat themselves to entertainments. They share a lot of laughter – maybe because their good compatibility includes the same sense of humor or, alternatively, because they know it is important to maintain the energy of love by making themselves happy. Any reason will do: those who enjoy themselves together will remain together.
You both derive pleasure from your own lives too
Codependency is definitely bad for relationships. It makes attraction stale, makes passion wane. People fall into the trap of codependency because when they commit themselves to each other they believe they must forgo their hobbies and activities and never leave their S.O.’s side. But that is a grave mistake. Sticking together without outside activities and friends only mars the enjoyment of each other’s company and eventually kills the joy of being together. If you want your relationship to endure, see to it that you both have individual interests that you pursue on – although the manner of the pursuit is sure to have changed. Naturally, since you are committed now you have less time for friends and hobbies, but the very health of your new relationship requires that you remain the same person socializing with friends and maintaining your interests and don’t indulge in sacrifices that will be harmful for your union.
You can be comfortably casual in each other’s company
People whose relationship is strong and lasting feel confident in each other’s company, they have no tension and they are happy to be casual. Since they have trust in their partner, they are sure nothing they say or do will be derided or berated. Then, knowing that they are good friends, these people can afford to be casual and show their vulnerabilities without being afraid to lose face. Finally, they are sure of the partner’s love and affection, meaning they don’t need to put their best foot forward to impress. They know love implies being open-hearted and they are loved anyway without winning the partner’s affection every single minute.
You both take pride in yourselves
Loving a person presupposes that their interests are predominant on your mind. So you can’t but feel intense pride any time when your partner shines in anything or makes a momentous step toward reaching their goal. Moreover, the couples with the strongest bond go further than smiling and embracing the hero – they express their delight in a more befitting fashion and go tell their mutual friends about the achievement. So what makes the relationship more enduring is pride in each other’s successes, felt on both sides and never tainted with secret jealousy.
You talk over future plans together unreservedly
Two people who don’t see each other in their future plans are guaranteed to fall apart before long. It’s an ultimate sign of separation – each will generate their own plan and their roads will take them in different directions. Although at the beginning the two may enjoy friendship and affection and trust each other, if there is no pondering over the future together, in their heart of hearts they know that there is no strong bond and their union won’t gel. Whereas with those who are dead sure they will stay together come rain or shine, a discussion of their future is the most natural way of behavior.
You can show your affection for your partner for all the world to see
No relationship will remain strong for long without intimacy. You will want romance and passion in your union and not just a platonic attraction. Consequently couples with a lasting relationship enjoy physical intimacy and use any opportunity to engage in it.
Now, physical intimacy doesn’t mean only bedroom games. It embraces a lot of little gestures – for example, suddenly hugging your spouse from behind and kissing or biting their earlobe gently, stroking their shoulders or hair when you sit close to each other before the TV screen. And if there are people around to watch you at it, it doesn’t hamper your affectionate displays in the least.
You never mind paying for each other
It’s a custom to pay for your family members. When we are old enough to earn money we don’t write down as debts the sums we pay for our younger brother’s toy or for your nephew’s lunch you treated him to. A part of our expenses goes to see that our family are happy with what we can provide for them.
It’s the same with your partner. Even if you haven’t come round to getting married but you have a strong and caring relationship you consider your partner to be family and you behave towards them as you would towards your beloved sibling.
Of course it should be like this on both sides – you wouldn’t like your partner to incessantly rely on your paying for them because they want to save their money or because they have run debts and are always short of cash.
You let everybody know that you are in a committed relationship
So, you can’t have an enduring relationship unless it is founded on love, support, caring and trust. This should be obvious to the people you meet, for if you value your partner and they value you it will be in evidence immediately. It will be spotted via your body language. And when you introduce your partner to your friends and acquaintances you let them know that you are a couple and in love.
On the other hand, if a person is clearly uncomfortable introducing their partner to their family members or friends, they won’t think much of your current relationship and will be sure it won’t last for long.