Do not think that adult life is an excuse to give up what makes you happy. As long as the roller coaster in the amusement park survives your weight, fun should go on. Nevertheless, there are habits that make us unhappy. And you, like any mature and self-sufficient woman, have to get rid of them.
1. Tell yourself that you are a failure
If you were talking to someone else the way you talk to yourself, you would be avoided in society. Learn to treat yourself as your best friend – with love, approval, and support. Forget about self-deprecating monologues, self-pity and all the words about how unlucky you are. This is a destructive feeling, so drive it away.
2. Reject compliments
Being able to accept compliments adequately is a feature of a mature personality, and it’s time for you to become one. To argue and convince people that you are much worse than they think is a bad tone. In addition, it always looks strained and unnatural. According to psychologists, people do not accept compliments either because of low self-esteem or because they do not believe a person and consider him a manipulator. It’s not difficult for you to distinguish constructive praise from sycophancy. A worthy reaction to pleasant words is a restrained “thank you”. It’s time to accept that you deserve compliments and take them for granted.
3. Criticize each photo
In the photos, where you are 20 years old, you see a nice young girl. At that time, each of those pictures seemed unsuccessful. In 10 years, you will treat the photographs taken today in the same way. After a while, you see them as though from aside. It turns out that the people making compliments in their comments under the photo, looked at you much more adequately. Why not skip these periods of hate and start to like yourself right now? To do this, you may need our proven ways of looking great in photos. Remember that photography does not reflect your whole. This is only a moment, so do not be too strict.
4. Compare yourself with others
It’s time to understand that we are too individual to compare our own success and failures with someone else. It is especially difficult to cope with the fits of envy while using social networks. We even wrote an article to help you not get depressed after looking through the photos on Instagram. Next time, when you begin to compare yourself with someone and look for flaws, look only at your life. Compare what you were 5 years ago and now – for sure, you will understand that you are not standing still. The only person to compete with is yourself. Mark your progress, this will help to set realistic goals and rejoice in victories, rather than depreciate oneself.
5. Say “yes” when you think of “no”
After 20 years, life accelerates even faster. You do not have time for the things that do not bring joy. Learn to prioritize and reject unwanted meetings, uninteresting people and meaningless events. The inability to say “no” to people is a mistake in communication that makes you unhappy.
6. Maintain a friendship that does not bring joy
The ability to let go of people comes with experience. Suppose you could communicate wonderfully in your student years, but now you have nothing left to say to each other. Do not forget that friends are not relatives, and they, fortunately, can be chosen. There is no reason to spend time with someone who poisons your existence.
7. Find excuses for men
Abandon your illusions: he is not too busy with work, ashamed of his feelings or does not like to show them in public – he’s just not ready for a relationship with you. This is the conclusion one always wants to be mistaken about, but more often than not this conclusion is true. You should not chase someone, hope for reciprocity, and try to explain why you’re still not together. Agree only to the real relationship rather than the one you have pictured in your head.
8. Idealize the future
The older you become, the more you understand – there is no magic time when everything finally finds its place and you are happy. You can be waiting for the advent of adulthood, but things become even more complicated and confusing with every year that passes. Reconcile with the fact that you cannot control everything and get rid of remorse. Concentrate on the present moment. This will save you from false expectations.