Not a single bride thinks that she will have to fall in love again, while she is tenderly preparing for the wedding. What she cannot imagine is falling in love with the man who will soon become her legal spouse. But in every marriage, a woman eventually comes up with a thought: where is the turn, after which the husband becomes so unpleasant or indifferent to me? Maybe I was wrong and chose the wrong one? The man feels this negative doubt and unconsciously gets the same virus as if it were flu in the spring. Below you will see how to return the former love.
Why is love gone? The reasons
Where is the moment when everything starts going downhill? Here are some reasons why the feelings of both partners are fading away:
The woman and the man develop separately. Everyone has their own interests, there are no points of contact apart from the general way of life.
Feelings are not appreciated. Conflicts and the lack of work on the relationship consume their passion, romance, love, warmth and mutual understanding.
Mirror behavior. Is this the way he treats me? Then I will do the same.
Appearance. Bristle, a couple of extra pounds, glimpses of baldness on the top of the head – where is the handsome man, whom I said “Yes!”?
Comparison with others. They say the neighbor’s grass always looks greener. It’s the same with the men around: for some reason, they start to look more dignified, more interesting, more caring, sexier, etc.
The habit that he is always there. Very often you do not notice when he comes late after work. You do not think about other women next to him and stick to the thought: “Oh, he just cannot get away from me”.
The woman has become stronger, and she does not need a strong shoulder. Why does such a woman need a man if she is independent herself?
Routine and life. The whirlpool of affairs and worries, problems at work, repairs that are planned for years, children, pets with their illnesses – what kind of romance do you find there?
In fact, it is not so important when exactly your diamond of love began to fade. The only important thing is that you want to somehow fix everything and reach a new, high-quality level of the relationship. How can you do it?
10 strategies for reviving your feelings for the spouse
An open, frank conversation. Most couples face big communication problems — and they undermine the relationship as a whole. Try to give each other time and talk heart to heart. Tell the man what is going on in your head, but do not overload him with unnecessary “SPAM” and do not forget to listen to him. Find out what he thinks and feels. There is always something new that you can learn about your partner. Continuing to show interest, you will feel you know each other better.
Imagine that he is not yours and not with you. We do not value what we have. Of course, in order to feel this, it is not necessary to terminate the relationship. You just have to look at your man from aside, as if he were somebody else’s husband. Imagine him being with another woman, kissing other children’s noses, gathering with them around the rich table on holidays, meeting the sunset and dawn in someone else’s bed and in someone’s arms. If you just quiver at the mere thought of it, then obviously you shouldn’t allow these things to happen in reality.
Time Machine. Contemplating old photos, watching wedding videos, and remembering the days when you met and built up your relationship, you can awaken old memories, dormant feelings, and emotions. Recall (and write down) what qualities have attracted you to your husband and think whether they have disappeared or you have changed. Try to place your husband in the “time machine” – share your memories, funny stories, giggle together, or maybe get a little sad.
A new man in the same husband. Over the years, you can discover new facets in every single person. Try to find new sides and traits of character in your husband, mark for yourself his dignity, share his interests, learn about his plans and desires. After all, sometimes we live together, but at the same time, we don’t see what is important in a person.
Act like a stranger. An interesting way to do this is to stage your meeting as if you were strangers. Start chatting, telling and asking about yourself. Sometimes it is even appropriate to play the role of a mistress (after all, his wife will not mind doing this). It is very important in this role-playing game to look like a stranger: distracted and mysterious. Put on clothes that are not typical for you, do a provocative makeup, use another perfume – in general, get involved in the game entirely.
Change and develop yourself. Try on new roles, images, look for new hobbies, friends, projects – surprise your man. It always spurs interest. Such dynamics will certainly lead to the husband’s new attitude towards you and will motivate him to change.
Generous energy. A woman is a great source of inspiration and strength for a man. Women’s softness, lightness, kindness and care work wonders. You cannot reject warmth and affection. Take advantage of this! Give the man some peace of mind and rest, become a quiet haven for him. Let him come, relax and rest from hard work and stress.
Strive for a variety of everyday life. Try to change the situation, plan a joint vacation in a new place. Have an original date for your man or make a romantic dinner at home. Experiment in sex, in communication, in behavior – let him awaken from “hibernation”! Add romantic evenings, walks under the stars, dates by candlelight to your daily routine – it is desirable that there should be a way out of the house and out of your everyday lifestyle. This will allow you to refresh your feelings, focus on each other and recall who the most important person in your life is.
More tactility. The most ancient language – body language – awakens the mind at the level of instincts. This is facilitated by dances, touches, joint visits to the pool or sauna, massages. Do not deny yourself once again to touch a man, hug, and kiss.
Try to understand your man. Perhaps it is also hard for him, perhaps he is also tired of life and wants romance, passion, explosion, or fireworks. But he pretends that everything is normal not to upset you. Why not take the first step? Perhaps it will be followed by a second honeymoon.
Easy to say, hard to do?
Someone will say this. That’s because when you let the relationship follow the line of least resistance and get used to doing nothing, the idea of change itself seems unthinkable. But nothing is impossible. And all the ways to return love for the husband will be effective only if you value this person and do not want to lose him. It is these feelings that need a spark in order to ignite once again and take your relationship to a new level.