It’s not enough to find a good guy, you need to somehow carry the romance, respect, passion and other pleasant attributes of the candy-bouquet period into a serious relationship. The first stage is the easiest and the most important, because it sets the tone for your entire life together. We are talking about the basic mistakes that people make at the beginning of the affair, and how to build a healthy relationship with a new guy.
1. Too much initiative
Make sure that everything happens mutually and gradually. If he has already invited you for a date, you can take the initiative next time. However, do not become a person who writes and calls first, always finding pretexts for dates. Your excessive activity can even drag him into a serious relationship, and then leave you wondering whether he wants to be with you or simply lives by inertia.
2. Having sex when there is no confidence
There are no specific dates when it is time to have sex. You can do it on the first date, if you are frank enough with each other. While it is inconvenient for you to ask him about contraception and discuss your preferences, you’d better not rush with sex.
3. Starting with the negative
You need to be open and honest in a relationship, but do not forget that the beginning of the affair should be light and interesting. Do not load the guy with negative thoughts and feelings. Leave personal problems until you get close enough. Nobody likes sad people.
4. Belittling yourself
Self-derogation always looks insincere. Besides, if you don’t love yourself, why should someone else love you? Find a way to talk about past failures in a positive way without complaining about life. It is better for you to remain yourself and make a positive impression on the guy.
5. Having sex when one of the partners is not ready
In addition to frankness, physical and moral readiness for first sex with a partner is important. Never agree to intimacy out of politeness or fear that he will lose interest in you. If it turns out that the guy is considering you only as a sexual object, then it’s good if you understand this before you find yourself in bed with him.
How to start a relationship correctly:
1. Make various plans
Try to see the guy in different contexts. Alone, at lunch and at dinner with his friends, surrounded by your loved ones, with colleagues and relatives. This way you will understand how he behaves in different life situations. Maybe he acts like a sweetheart with you, but is rude and domineering with friends – you should know this before your relationship goes too far.
2. Make sure you both have a balanced lifestyle
The most difficult thing at the beginning of a relationship is to keep balance, because you are inseparable now. Occasionally force yourself to regain composure and spend time with friends, family and on your own. Starting a new relationship, you risk losing yourself and pulling away from loved ones. It is important to maintain independence in the couple, and this should be done from the very beginning, so that you do not have to win back every centimeter of personal space later.
3. Watch out for red flags
It is wrong to say that a person in love does not see any flaws in a partner. We notice everything, but we do not pay much attention. When disappointment comes, you realize that you have heard these disturbing bells in your head more than once, but you’ve been ignoring them.
Pay attention if the guy conceals a part of his life from you, criticizes, treats other people rudely, and other red flags. Any of them can tell you that you should not waste time on this person.
4. Pamper yourself
Do not discard your interests to please the guy. You are the only one who shows your partner how to treat you. So be yourself, follow your principles, love and respect yourself.
5. Communicate
The beginning of the affair lays the foundation for the future relationship, so pay attention to how you communicate. Explain what you mean instead of leaving the guy alone with hints. Be polite and constructive in disputes and do not allow yourself to say the words that you will later regret.