When the suspicion that your very special person is trying to put one or two over you or disguise something sets in, the relationship is bound to acquire strain. As soon as you catch him out on small things like when he wasn’t where he said he was, you can’t get rid of a thought that there may be another woman involved.
Infidelity is often the main reason that moves men to tell lies, but it’s not the only one, and some reasons can be quite decent ones – for one, does he like to arrange surprises for you? Then again, there is money and work issues, addictions and some other situations which you probably will want to know.
With that idea in mind, you can make good use of several hints from behavior experts that tell us there are signs when a person is concealing something or feeding you blatant lies.
He fidgets as he speaks
When people resort to lies, they don’t do it because they are happy, and their nervousness expresses itself through their bodies. They blink oftener than they usually do, they keep turning around small things in their hands, they adjust parts of their clothing that don’t need adjusting; a common mannerism is patting down the hair which creates the illusion of calming down.
He doesn’t like when the conversation gets too personal
A close relationship is characterized by the ability to broach very personal topics and discuss them without discomfort. Of course, not all people are happy to divulge their innermost feelings and thoughts even to those they love, but it is different from the deliberate concealment of personal information and preferences. When you open up too much, your partner may discover ideas and facts that don’t tally with lies told at other moments.
He slips over small things
When a person is feeding a tall story, he has to keep track of all the small things he made up. But no-one’s memory is perfect, trifles get forgotten, and some parts of the story get twisted around. So as you notice that something fails to dovetail, you know that it is not square and above board.
He often calls you a liar
It’s a sort of defensive behavior in people that psychologists refer to as projection when a person projects their own shortcomings on other people. If your partner is constantly telling you fibs, he in his turn becomes suspicious that you might be doing the same. He grows mistrustful, calls you a liar pretty often, and will do it regularly in order to divert attention from himself and put the heat on you (and/or probably someone you both know).
He doesn’t answer immediately
Some questions do require reflection, but it doesn’t become a habit with people to regard every question as a teaser. So if your partner takes quite a long time hesitating over his answer, repeats the question and does something to fill in a pause, he may be cooking up a little lie or a good excuse.
He has changed perceptibly
Once your partner has lost his openness and is no longer easy-going, but grew quiet and moody, it may mean he has things to hide and is unhappy about it, maybe even ridden with guilt. On the other hand, he may be having problems. You have a reason to invite him to open up about it. If he gets fumed or tries to pooh-pooh the issue, it’s a sign he doesn’t want to talk about it – there are things he doesn’t want you to know.
He looks away
You are discussing something, and he finds it difficult to meet your eyes – he keeps looking away and finds new things to focus his gaze on. This one is indicative of lying or concealing. Since many liars know that, some acquire a habit of fixing their eyes on people’s all the time they are talking, so you’ll have to be discerning over this particular sign.