Sometimes no one will understand men better than … men themselves! One of our male dating experts tells us what you should never tolerate in a man.
He is lazy
He is as lazy as one can imagine. In this world, there is only one person whose comfort this man is worried about – about himself. He has a thousand excuses why he should be lying on the couch today:
- he is in search of a decent job;
- he is looking for his calling;
- he feels bad;
- there is recession in the country.
In general, you can see the point. No matter how much a loving wife takes him to interviews, picks ads from websites or comes up with ultimatums, the lazy person will not move a finger. If the partner finally gets under his skin, he will find another victim. Unless he is too lazy, of course.
But he will gladly accept your finding a job (and preferably two). Have you given birth to a baby? What for do you need the maternity leave?! You are welcome to contribute to the family budget after some six months. After all, it is a modern trend.
He is not to blame for anything
Never. It is others who must feel guilty. He cannot earn money because his parents are not Rockefellers and did not get him into a prestigious position.
They don’t raise his salary because the boss is an idiot and does not appreciate such a promising employee. He cannot take his family abroad because he was born in a poor country where nobody needs this. Should we continue?
This inert whiner doesn’t even try to take control of his life. And you still demand that he become the head of the family. This is an impossible task for the innocent one.
Such men refuse to take the responsibility even for their own adultery.
To prove your masculinity, it is not necessary to kill the dragon. It is enough to bear responsibility for your words and actions, to create an atmosphere for a woman in which she will feel protected.
A coward finds it much easier when the woman makes every decision for him. She took a loan, she chose the home appliance herself and sorted out the relations with the rampaging neighbors. Let her decide in which kindergarten to send the child and how to get to the airport in the middle of the night, if she needs to go on a business trip.
A coward avoids difficulties in every possible way. He finds it comfortable.
He is a strict critic
You have put too much salt in the soup, you are wearing a very short skirt, you have raised an unsuccessful son. A woman will not hear any kind words from a male critic. Such is the home tyrant who considers it his mission to point out your mistakes and shortcomings.
But for any person, self-confidence is an important aspect of happiness. And who, if not a close person, must support the self-esteem and value the achievements. Instead, the woman receives constant reproaches and claims. And the critic is happy: he asserted himself at the expense of the woman and proved his “masculinity” and leadership.
A certain role could have been played by childhood and adolescent injuries or the parental relationship model. With time, it will only get worse. A woman suffers because she considers such behavior to be the norm.
Then he will begin to compare her with others: “Your friend Ann cooks such a delicious soup, while yours can hardly be swallowed.” Each sarcastic comment, each bitter remark brings your self-esteem closer to the zero level.
He’s lying to you
For a reason or without. What is even worse, you don’t mind. At first, you had scandals and violent quarrels in the relationship and asked him not to lie. And then you reconciled and let it be.
There is no place for trust in your union, and this is the foundation for normal and harmonious relations. If you expect to find a lie in every word, if every delay is mentally equated with treason, perhaps there is nothing to save?
He has his own list of priorities
And you are not on top of it. He will easily exchange a date with you for a party with friends or another fishing trip. His feelings are not as deep as you would like. And his interests and preferences will always dominate.
He finds it good and comfortable with you until you start demanding something. This develops into a quarrel, during which it is so convenient to slam the door and go to the bar with friends, leaving you to mourn the relationship and think about what has been done wrong.
A worthy man respects the interests and desires of a woman as his own ones.
Analyze your relationship and see if he behaves like this. If the answer is yes, you need to change something. Both partners must be interested in maintaining the relationship.
You can study books on psychology, try new techniques and endlessly adapt to your beloved, but this tactics will not bring happiness. This is a one-goal game rather than a relationship. You deserve more!