There are quite a number of people who would tell you that nothing is more unfathomable and complicated in the whole world than the heart of a woman. Arguably, that goes for a large part of the romantic in relationships, especially budding ones, causing acute interest in the very special lady, wondering about what is going on in her heart and mind, thinking what further steps should be taken, if any (especially at the earlier stages of acquaintance). Men will be trying to interpret – with dubious success – their attractive girls’ every word and gesture, and to figure out how much her flirtatiousness really means. Is it her actual attitude or a short-lived whim that will pass with the day?

Don’t fret if you regularly fail to decode the signs. There are hints and cues, and the most important ones are collected in this article for your supreme knowledge – questions that no woman will ever ask you if she does not consider you attractive.

This article won’t be able to cover the complete range of a woman’s boundless mysteriousness, of course, but the questions cited will certainly help you understand some basic notions at first – like whether she likes you and can start considering the possibility of making a partner out of you or it is not what’s on her mind right now. Looking into these questions and their hidden meanings you can wrap your brain about the fundamental workings of a female mind and proceed from there, once you have decided to become an expert on women. Here’s your very first lesson!

Have you heard…?

So she wants to know whether you are already aware of a coming festival, the concert of a famous local band, the new restaurant that has opened recently… Why does she want to discuss it with you, to get primed on the details? More likely she is thinking along the lines of feeling you up on the matter of your likes/preferences, see if you are into things, whether she has something in common with you; therefore, the more questions of this kind she asks, the more she wants to learn about your tastes and places you go to. Probably she already means to get you around to asking her out. But first look carefully at her behavior: if she habitually asks people questions like that, she may be merely a chatterbox who can’t abide silence.

Are you in a relationship?

Yes, this is an obvious one, and you may even go as far as consider it not to be in the best taste. Then again, it may be put in a devious way, and, dash it, the girl has the right to know (or, at least, to want to know!). Now that you caught each other’s eye a number of times, and then got talking, and when the talk went round to your travels to nature, and then she drops casual like, “so your girlfriend shares your fondness of the open spaces?” Of course, she has no reason to be concerned about the wellbeing of your imaginary partner, so when you get this thrown on your lap, sit up and analyze the situation: unless she is being pleasant because she means to rope you in for the company’s party, she may be genuinely interested in you.

Could you help me out a bit?

We all need a little assistance now and then, and it’s quite a natural thing for a girl to ask for it – but if you caught a girl you know only casually getting into the habit of relying on your help every once in a while, think what she can be aiming at. Is it because she isn’t quite sure how to set about doing some work-related motions, or is it a part of a plot of ensnaring you with her charms? The latter is quite possible, especially if there are other men around she might have turned to. She keeps calling you in for every task set before her? Then she had got you in her sights. In some cases, you can go by the degree of intimacy the request implies. When that nice girl in the gym is having troubles with locking her necklace on the back of her neck and asks you to do it for her, ask her in turn if she is doing anything special tonight.

I would like to ask you something, may I?

Here goes a very telling sign. It may not seem that much to you at first, but the idea of asking you whether she might ask you a question really goes a long way. Indeed, given certain circumstances, it can be a straightforward symptom of serious interest. As long as she doesn’t want you to tell her that her boyfriend will surely like her new outfit, she seems to be a shopper who is always unsure of herself, or you are talking to her as a customer, most of the other questions can come up only if she is interested in you. The very idea of asking you first whether it would be all right to ask you a question hints at her wish for you to be there for her with understanding and advice, for confidential conversations and participation in her life.

How do you amuse yourself?

Surely it’s an old one that has been in many surveys, but old though it is (or maybe for that very reason) it’s still a question revealing a degree of interest. Why should a girl you work with start to wonder about what you do at your weekends: lying in, up with the lark and heading down to the country, or looking up fun events on the Internet? She can be wanting to involve you into group events – or see if just the two of you can have some fun at one of the coming weekends. Looks like the one inquiring so closely into your pastimes and hobbies is driven by more than a passing fit of wondering.

Would you like a drink?

Once upon a time dating was a thing requiring purely male initiative, but these days are long gone now. You are alone in a bar thinking out your thoughts and helping them along with a glass of your poison, when a woman comes up and asks if she could get you a drink – it’s not a good reason to believe she is pushing or acting indecently bold; that’s all right, even if not very traditional. A woman finds you attractive and she decided to treat you to a drink, isn’t that nice? If you have no-one to come home to, why not accept the offer and get into a conversation with the up-to-date lady who doesn’t mind displaying her independence? Mind you make the next order, though.

How should I behave in this situation?

She wants your opinion on how she should take a situation and discusses her possible behavior in it – then, with a few logical exceptions, she must be finding you eligible. Just see that the conditions are not too casual, like a co-worker discussing complications with a recalcitrant client or a neighbor wanting to know how to talk over a lease with the landlord (then again, these may also express interest!). Should the issue involve family, friends or choices facing her, that is, it is highly personal, you can be dead sure she holds you in high respect. People do not share their personal details or issues unless they feel – or want to achieve – understanding and empathy. This kind of opening up makes an excellent beginning of a relationship based on trust, and the more she has to discuss with you, the closer you two will be getting.

Are you fond of…?

Any personal interest will feed on preferences and likings. Any psychological advice on getting to know your favorite person better will include finding out things he or she is fond of doing. This way you get to learn how much you have in common, and what the best ways are to spend time with them for their and your own enjoyment. Of course, the inquirer has already hobbies of her own and do not think that she is going to give them up for you just because you like different things – yet the very wish to take a closer look at another person’s interests gives away the attitude that can lead to being besotted over you.

How do you visualize yourself in five years’ time?

Probably this question will be worded a little differently so it doesn’t resemble a job interview or another official occasion, but when a woman has got a crush on you, it is bound to turn up sooner or later, but rather more subtly and at an opportune moment. She is attracted to you and therefore she wants to get an idea what your future may be like because she might want to be a part of it. She may pick at the opportunity of a colleague or a friend bringing her baby along to wonder if you have thought about when you want your next generation arriving. Then again, it would be quite an innocuous question to ask how long you intend to stay with this company and if you like it here well enough to go on building your career here or are on the lookout for other chances. You see, she will have to know these things about you so she can feel how she can stick around.

Got anything special for the coming weekend?

Mostly it is true that when pondering on the question of whether a certain woman might be fond of him, your average man finds himself totally at sea. Well, there are exceptions, and if you are one of them, – well and good. But if you are gnawed at by doubts, and you are approached with such a question, take good notice of what her body is saying. Is she actually distracted by what is on her plate and just making small talk? Is she filling the awkward pose as you are waiting for an elevator? Or she is moving in a bit closer and her eyes are aglow with interest? If the latter, consider the desirability of sharing your weekend with who can fast become your next girlfriend.

What social network sites do you frequent?

This is a fairly common question to ask, but it may work as a good enough starter, and it’s definite that a girl who feels her interest in you roused will want to check you out on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat or whatever you like to use to keep in touch with your crowd. As always, rely on it with support from good extraneous evidence (this might be a simple ruse to find a friend of yours through your profile), but if she expresses a sincere wish to be linked to you digitally and consequently get your updates and personal news, see if you like what she does with her life and how you can hook up together to try and see if things may work for both of you.

Where do you draw your paycheck?

Again, not quite a tell-tale question about whether you are in for a spot of romance: it can come from the family that just moved next door to you or from a fellow-traveler with whom you got talking in earnest. Yet it’s unavoidable if a woman feels drawn to you and is eager to find out all she can about you – and fast. And the most important part can be coming later: inquires like how long you have been at it and what it is exactly what you are supposed to do at your work. Then her body language will tell you if it is driven by sheer politeness or there lurks a real big crush that will prove a delight for years to come. Read the signs and proceed with assurance!

What are you going to do during the holidays?

Any holiday season promptly opens up boundless opportunities for pestering all and sundry with such questions. Some of them may be charged with concealed interest, so it’s better to be on the look-out for girls with possible crashes. What better legitimate situation for finding out whether you are engaged or not, ready for a hook-up or not very willing, get a quick idea of your preferences – and, should things turn out bad, learn that you are definitely out of bounds. In case you start telling her about a quiet holiday surrounded by the family, she will be able to extricate a lot of information about your people and grasp just how close you are. Besides, it is an awesome starter for a good long conversation during which she can show herself to the best advantage and drop hints about keeping her a nice company for the future holidays!

I’d like to tell you something, can I?

Once you have gotten to this stage, that may really be something! Such an intriguing opening is certain to make men’s hearts beat faster, and chances run high that whatever follows would be worth your while to hear! The lady means to open up to you, and make it emotional, even if the issue she broaches may seem a bit too trivial and impersonal for you. Don’t get disappointed if, instead of telling you that she believes your ex had been a damned fool to chuck a fellow like yourself, she will start on a hitch she struck in her work. It may not matter much just what the topic is going to be. So you won’t be far amiss if you take the woman along for a quiet cup of coffee and a chance to discuss what ails her in a more congenial atmosphere.

How do you get on with your people?

Straightforward inquiries about your family display curiosity about your background that is rare but casual. Family issues are so important for relationships that a girl who has a crush on you is sure to want to know about the atmosphere you grew up in and what kind of relations reigned within your family. They need to figure out what your role in the family circle could be and how your people could take it when you turn up with a girl on your arm. She will see how you react to the topic – are open-hearted or reticent about it. Most people discourse on their families only with those they like and feel comfortable around.