It happens that in a relationship one of the partners is emotionally dependent, and the other partner is emotionally distracted. The first one complains about the lack of time to be spent with the partner, whereas the other person feels the need for personal space. It is interesting that both aspects of this system have nothing to do with love.
The inevitable emotional addiction comes from the deep fear of being rejected. When people do not know how to cope with their feelings and needs, they force their partner to be responsible for them. If you think that everything you do is the fruit of a big and bright love that your partner simply does not appreciate, look through our checklist and check if you are not a love parasite.
1. Is he responsible for your mood?
When you fall into an addiction from your partner, your mood depends on his psychological state. If he comes home upset, you automatically adjust to his mood. For you, his bad mood is a signal that something is wrong with you. To be in love is not the center of the universe for a specific person. You are sad if your partner is worried, but it’s better to do this simply out of empathy rather than from fear that it’s necessarily you who did something wrong.
2. Your partner is the center of the universe
If your partner becomes the meaning of your whole life – this is a sign of emotional addiction. Anyone who does not experience emotional addiction will feel comfortable and engaged in what interests him outside the sphere of relations. However, a person who is addicted has only one real interest in life, and this is his partner. There is nothing wrong about making your relationship a priority, but your partner’s happiness should not be the center of your life. Everything must have its balance.
3. Jealousy is your integral companion
Emotionally addicted people are jealous because they do not feel safe when their partner does not spend time with them. Even a short separation becomes a stress and an occasion to ponder whether everything is fine with the relationship. If you are really in love, the ground will not crumble under your feet every time he does something outside of your relationship. In a balanced couple, both people need free time and use their emotional intelligence to grow the relationship outside of the emotional attachment to one another.
4. Parting is the end of the world for you
When you are in love with someone, the thought that this person can leave you is painful. For the emotionally addicted people, the idea of parting is a universal catastrophe. You feel that you will be ready for anything to make the person stay. You will even agree to the most unfavorable conditions for yourself. It happens because you cannot imagine how to live on your own. True love is about freedom of choice and respect for a partner. After all, you can always talk about what bothers you without the fear of a cardiac arrest.
5. You count the points
The couples that are really in love support each other and do not evaluate. When you are addicted to your relationship, you can count the points and be passive or aggressive when you realize that there is an imbalance in the relationship. For example, if your partner does not pick up the phone one night, you can tell yourself that the next day you will not answer his call. But it’s so childish! This can lead to unnecessary games of reason, which exhaust both partners greatly and lead to nothing.
6. Your love is conditional
When you feel that you can love your partner only if he meets your expectations, it’s a bad sign. In a relationship based on love and personal growth, you love each other free of charge. Your feelings should not change from day to day depending on what your beloved does or does not do for you. As a rule, unconditional love takes time, but when you really love a person, you should not expect that he/she will necessarily do something for you. Being emotionally dependent on a partner does not mean that you are bad as a girl.
In a healthy relationship, both partners should feel energetic and continue to grow emotionally and spiritually. It’s a hard thing to do when you constantly ask for attention. But as soon as you learn to rely on yourself and be interested in your life, your relationship will become much stronger.