Our grandmothers and great-grandmothers had an iron rule – never kiss on the first date. Times change. The crazy rhythm of life and the appearance of date apps like Tinder dictate new rules. Nowadays even sex on the first date is not rare. In fact, sex on the first date is not the best solution. Find out why.
1. Slightly more alcohol than needed
It seems to you that a couple of cocktails will make you dance like a goddess. A few men from an unfamiliar company at a nearby table are keeping their eyes on you, or your friend‘s younger brother keeps staring. Alcohol is not the best way to liberate yourself. It removes psychological barriers, and we get loose. This is probably not so bad. However, firstly, not everyone can see that fine line between “a little bit for good mood” and “oh God, I got drunk again,”. Secondly, it is best to have fun when you are sober.
Alcohol works like an aphrodisiac, and we take its action for sexual desire. There are thousands of memes that you should not text your ex if there is alcohol in your blood. However, sex with a stranger is an even more disastrous idea.
2. Respecting your own body
Our body requires respect. If you treat your body with love and respect, you will think a few times before allowing a stranger to touch you. The body needs time to recognize if sexual desire is associated with this specific person, or it is just the festive holiday atmosphere.
3. Erasing borders sharply
Sex is the only physiological need, in which two people take part. We can do everything else by ourselves. If we talk about casual sex, it implies instant erasing of boundaries – physical, emotional, and moral ones. It usually takes time, and happens while we are getting to know each other, until “me” + “me” becomes “we”.
Some psychologists believe that a woman needs three months for her love to go down from her heart to the lower abdomen, and a man needs three months for his desire to rise from his groin to his heart. During this time, love is born or not born.
It is clear that we do not expect to meet a man or a woman of our life when we agree to casual sex, but it will be very disappointing if, by some chance, we get to like the partner a lot.
4. Awkwardness afterward
It is the previous cause that awkwardness stems from. One of the most stressful situations is to wake up in an unfamiliar place with a stranger painfully recalling what his name is. Even if you are a real extrovert and can easily find a way out of such a situation, it does not mean that your partner has the same skill.
Therefore, it is always better to wake up in your bed, even if you have to pay a triple fare for a taxi on New Year’s Eve. We all remember the words of Cinderella‘s fairy godmother – at midnight the carriage turns into a pumpkin, and the enchanting magic of the first night dissipates with the first rays of the sun.
5. What you should do if it happened
If unplanned sex happened on the first date or you could not resist the charm of your occasional companion, do not blame yourself. Feeling guilty won’t lead to anything good, so just allow yourself to get a new experience. Your sexuality does not always fit into the Procrustean bed of traditional values. However, never forget about safety.